Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The New Muffin Top

Code red. Code red. There's a new trend emerging. The effects are just as devastating as the muffin top. But I think I'm able to trace this one back to its genesis. Several summers ago, when leggings hit their saturation point, long tunics were favored to be paired with them. Simultaneously, young women were wearing very short dresses with footless tights or very long shirts with tight pants. It depended on how it was styled and the body-type.

Of course the wearer wasn't always keen on pairing the tunic with leggings, so she utilized everything in her closet: jeans, skirts of varying lengths, and hosiery. The most egregious has been first of the bunch. Often the jeans were paired with a cropped jacket for some reason, so the area from the belly button to the cheeks look like one massive block of fabric. This horizontal section is egalitarian. It's universally unflattering, from a size 0 to a size 12 on up.

Ladies, let's terminate this fad before it goes any further. I'm certain low rise jeans have a lot to do with this. Women who outgrew their Britney jeans have held onto them tightly. Instead of buying jeans with longer inseams, they've simply lengthened their blouses. Also, a lot of us have waaaaaay too many cropped jackets. Let's step back a bit and do a closet analysis. Add some longer, more sophisticated blazers in the mix for some variety. The look is far more flattering because of the tailoring. Any bulge (and size zeros, you have it too, that's where you gain your weight), roll, or dimple is concealed by the streamlined construction of the jacket.

If you're going to do crop, do it the right way. It shouldn't be too high and make sure the bottom of the jacket isn't in a separate zip code from the bottom of your top. Pay close attention to any horizontal line in the waist and hip area. I'm not referring to stripes on a shirt. I mean the actual line created by the hem of your jackets and and shirts. Our midsection and lower midsection are the widest parts on most of our bodies. The new muffin top draws the eye directly to this area. Let's nip this in the bud before it reaches the pandemic proportions of the original muffin.


  1. Wait just one minute heh! I have to disagree with this to some degree. Although I understand your disdain, this "new muffintop" rule should not apply to everyone. For those of us women who are on the slender and sleek side like myself (meaning no hips but nice booty action) this cropped jacket, long tunic look suits me just fine as it gives me the illusion of hips. Please be advised I am suggesting this only to the slender and sleek not the already curvy. And for the love of christ if u have a distracting amount of fat around the tummy area UNDERGARMENTS baby. We all could benefit from em.

  2. Alas someone has put this trend on the hot seat! It has gotta go! I think it is one trend made to cover up another bad trend. Still is the this the end for the cropped jacket... never. wa haha!