Saturday, April 11, 2009

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Spring Love (Freestyle Weekend)

Let 'er Rip

I don't know why this is becoming a trend, but some young "ladies" have been roaming around the downtown area of the city wearing ripped tights. Now I'm a child of the 80s, I understand the concept of ripping perfectly good clothing. I think the look is tired and unbecoming, but if you insist on doing it, make sure you have the gams to back it up. The girls I've noticed are no match for Betty Grable and her legs.

With Style Therapy I stress to my clients to embrace their bodies and dress the body they have now. Play up what you're proud of and camouflage areas you're not terribly pleased with. In other words, work with what you've got.

The lasses I've been seeing are on the shorter, stumpier side. Their goal should be a streamlined look to create length in the legs. In this case less truly is more. The rips and holes create such an ugly and unpleasant leg, aside from the sloppy slob factor, the eye races all over the place, creating more width than length.

Some of you may be saying, "Style Therapist, maybe these girls like their less-than-long-and-lean legs." If they truly loved their less-than-long-and-lean legs, they'd pretty them up, not dirty them up with tattered hosiery.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Lovey Dovey is Yucky Yucky: Get a Room!

Love is in the air, but in a rather polluted form. The other day I was waiting for the train to come and I witnessed some of the most egregious attentionwhoritis I'd see in a while. There was a young couple who seemed more in love with the attention they were receiving than with each other. The female had on a bright fuchsia bubble jacket (look at me! look at me!) with an equally bright purple purse. Her brown hair was streaked in orange and black stripes. And she finished off her look with black tights and well-worn Uggs. Her man was wearing quiet, muted colors. His dirty blond hair was as flavorless as his moss-colored parka.

What made this duo spectacularly annoying was her bizarre habit of picking him. She was a petite young woman and he was more of a lanky beanstalk, so she barely got him off of the ground. But she kept trying and trying and where she was trying is what made this couple so unbearable. These two goons were smack in the middle of the platform, so passersby had to be quite strategic if they wanted to maneuver around them. While girlfriend picked up boyfriend, boyfriend was looking around to see who was enjoying their lighthearted love. It wasn't a look of embarrassment. It read more like, "Aren't we cute in love?" No sir, you two are repugnant.

Back on Valentine's Day, again I was on a train, this time it was the L—you know how that goes. The Admiral and I were sitting down after a lovely (but not too mushy) day. Standing over us was a young lady with her ironically (or sincerely) unkempt boyfriend. She was kissing on him and he was kissing on her. In her hands she gripped one of those pitiful roses wrapped in cellophane. That's not what was offensive. Her goon of a boyfriend and I were facing off in a staring contest. I'm not sure if he 1) wanted me to see how great of a boyfriend he was for giving his girlfriend a lone, pitiful rose wrapped in cellophane, 2) wanted me to join in, or 3) was suffering from a bad case of attentionwhoritis. I hope he read in my face that I thought he was a gross, damn fool.

This past Wednesday I was on a rush hour train with an equally annoying couple. Again, it was the male who was committing the majority of the egregious acts. First of all, we're supposed to do our best to "stand clear of the doors." The train was crowded, but not that crowded where one couldn't grab onto a pole. This couple glued themselves to the doors and whispered and forehead kissed and pinched and tickled and giggled for all of us to see. The young man attempted to make eye contact with several people as this foolishness was going on. Your poor Style Therapist was one of the victims. I hope my visceral reaction was enough to show him that I thought he and his lady were whackadoodles.

My point isn't to knock young love, it's to bring light to how gross it is to have an intimate moment in a public place and then scan the area to see who's looking! Parents, please give your children attention so they don't grow up to be adults with acute cases of attentionwhoritis. Then they become society's problem.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Just Got Paid (New Jack Swing Week)

New Service: Star Style Guide

Hello Beautiful People!

If there's one thing I love as much as fashion and art, it's astrology. I believe it's a marvelous way for us to discover the very essence of who we are objectively. The best way to figure this out is to know our birth chart (also known as natal chart). This tells us every aspect of our personality: who we are in public and private, our role at work, how we deal with romantic and platonic relationships; etc. We can't be our best selves if we haven't the slightest clue who we are.

Which brings us to Style Therapy. As I've stressed, my mission with Style Therapy is teach wardrobe efficiency and effective non-verbal communication through dress. If you're unaware of who you are, you can't possibly be dressing with yourself in mind. That's why I've launched a new service for the more evolved of you out there.

With your Star Style Guide you'll receive an in-depth analysis of your birth chart that includes what I think you should be wearing to maximize sartorial synergy. My Virgos should not be walking around dressed like Aquarians. And my Scorpios should not be shopping in the same manner a Gemini would. All twelve signs are different, but when we delve much deeper and discover all the aspects included in our birth charts, we'll look at ourselves in a new light and adjust our wardrobes and shopping habits to suit ourselves.

The steps are quite easy:

1. E-mail me at with your date of birth, place of birth (include city, state/country so I know the time zone), and time of birth (as close as possible—no worries if you don't know.)

2. I'll e-mail you back a confirmation and a prompt to login to your Paypal account, click on the "Send money" tab and type "" in the "To" box, and "40.00" in the "Amount" box.

I can hear it now. Some of you are saying, "$40?! Style Therapist I can't afford $40." I know who you are. You're the same one who was in the club with that Forever 21 dress you only plan on wearing once. We've been over this. Cost per wear! I'm trying to save you time and money in the future. From the bottom of my heart, I want you to always bring your A-game. Bring your A-game to pick up milk at the bodega. Bring your A-game to work. Bring your A-game to meet the parents. Bring your A-game because you know you're worth it! And the most efficient way to sartorial self-discovery is through a Star Style Guide.

I don't claim to see into your future like Miss Cleo or read your energy like CB Walker, but I can guarantee you the best wardrobe specifically for you! If we don't have sartorial synergy, we're basically a walking, steaming, sweltering hot mess.