Wrapped Hair is Not An Actual Style

I suppose I'm on a roll when it comes to this decorum stuff. I get easily riled up. This message is directed towards a select few. There is a type of woman who likes to be seen on the street with her hair wrapped and covered in bobby pins. Usually, the young woman goes to the hair salon and instead of having her hair styled like a normal person, she asks her stylist to wrap her hair up and secure them with the pins. Think of it as leaving the salon with your hair in rollers. They're both on the same level.

If the said woman was to go directly from the salon to her house, there would be very little harm, very little foul. I can't say with confidence no harm, no foul because she's still out in public not bringing her A-game. However, if the windows in her car are tinted, almost no one will see her. When I used to straighen my hair, I wrapped it all of the time in order to keep the frizzies away. On the rare occasion, your Style Therapist would indulge in semi-public wrapped hair...but only if I was going straight into a car and then a house. No, I was not bringing my A-game. Plus, that was before my Style Therapy training. But some women brazenly walk about town as if it were an a legitimate hairstyle.

I remember during my undergrad days, the occasional student would show up to class with this dreadful look. It's become so accepted that some women run their errands with the wrapped hair. They're on the subway, walking down the street, and engaging in regular public life. What does that say about them exactly? Why stop with the bobby pins? Why not come out in fuzzy house slippers and drawers.

Style Therapy is about bringing your A-game—always. I'm not necessarily referring to high-end, fashion forward looks. That's not for everyone. I'm talking about clean and fitted in your signature style. When you present yourself to the world, practically in rollers, you're shouting out that you don't care about yourself or what people think about you. That's not the makings of a rebel or maverick, but a slob...and a damn fool.

Dear Style Therapist: Are Hats Indoors Okay?

Dear Style Therapist,

After reading your last blog “messy hair only works for trolls”, I found myself thinking about the many ways I try to mask a bad hair day. One of my go-to’s is the slouchy knit hat—you know, the one you would wear on a cold day. Lately I’ve seen many girls resorting to this trick but it does look quite as flattering.

What is you opinion on wearing a knit hat indoors and as an accessory? Can it be chic or do I just look like a person trying to cover up a bad hair with what my friends describe as a “toilet bowl cleaner”

Sincerely,

Bad Hair Day in Queens

Dear BH,

Indoor tam or knit hat wearing isn't a crime in and of itself; but if poorly styled, you could be mistaken for a bag lady. It's also akin to wearing your coat inside. You're apt to get the old cliche suggestion of "Stay a while." I'm going to err on the side of keeping it as a means of keeping your head warm rather than masking unkempt hair. Here are some alternatives for BHD (Bad Hair Days) during all seasons:

1. An updated fedora
2. An updated fedora with a bow
3. A classic Kangol
4. A silk scarf à la Jackie Kennedy Onassis

And there's always putting in some product and sleeking your hair back for a sharp, low ponytail. You don't always have to cover up.

*Bonus option*

Messy Hair Only Works for Trolls

There's something going on with hair today and it isn't right. People have been walking around, looking like true hot messes with their hair unkempt. It's morally wrong to have an Afghan Hound walking around looking better than you.

There's a young lady in several of my classes whose hair is never, ever combed. If the problem only existed in the morning, I'd assume that she had been rushing and forgot to run a brush through her hair. And if the problem were strictly PM, it would have meant the possibility of a long and stressful day. But she always seems frazzled, with her hair pasted to her forehead and cheeks. I'm not sure what to make of all of this. Often, she'll run her hand from the front to back; sometimes creating a pompadour. Other times, she'll sweep her hair from one side to the next, resulting in a mock comb-over. My suggestions to her are few, and easy to accomplish:

1. Take a big dollop of any Gatsby product, run it through wet hair, and create a chignon. It's sleek, sophisticated and she never has to worry about looking sweaty.

2. Take it all off for a low-maintenance GI Jane look. Sure it'll encourage stares, but that's from jealous women who spend their weekends under the hairdryer for hours over the weekend.

3. Invest in a good, quality wig or lace front weave. Don't forget to get the one with baby hairs! Makes for a more realistic look. Unlike her natural hair, she doesn't have to worry about the matted look she's prone to.

Now hold on a minute, you gents are not off the hook. Yesterday, on the R train (shocked that it wasn't the L?), I saw a young grizzly bear. At least I think it was a young grizzly bear. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, speaking to a young man and staring at people. But when your chest hair connects to your neck hair connects to your facial hair connects to your head of hair: that makes you a grizzly bear!

I blame Boho Chic for my classmate's current state. Just because MK does it, that doesn't make it ok for the rest of us. And as for the young man, I really do believe he was a grizzly bear. I can't attribute his condition to anything other than being a grizzly bear.

Stop GAWSH Now!!

Admittedly, I'm one of the most ornery people on the planet. The littlest things drive me insane. McDonald's Duo and Pizza Fiend. And don't forget all of the PAOs. There's no time like the present to add yet another egregious act: Grown A** Women Stroking Hair (GAWSH). I've only begun to notice this in 2008 as an epidemic.

I remember back in junior high, a girl and I were on the outs with a mutual friend. So as females do, and continue to do well into adulthood, we started talking about the other girl behind her back. The girl, who I'll refer to as Amy, told me that our mutual friend, who I'll call Twirl-a-Girl, spent the night at her house over the weekend. They had a minor disagreement over nothing at all. However, it had upset Twirl-a-Girl so much that she sat up the entire night twirling her hair. Now this was back in 1990, when perms were rampant. The year before, in grade 6, Twirl-a-Girl had gotten a perm. A year later she had failed to get a retouch and the roots were growing in. But due to her nervous habit, Twirl-a-Girl had ingeniously maintained her curls!

In any case, I'm sure today her hair twirling and stroking continues on. But she's always done that, so I can't be mad at her. However, this new batch is out of control. Whether they're walking down the street, on the train reading a book, or speaking to another person, there they are with the most vacant expressions on their faces, stroking, stroking, stroking. Hair twirling can be flirtatious, and even achieve results (like Twirl-a-Girl's perm maintenance). But hair stroking?

What bothers me the most is how stupid, vapid, insipid (and other words ending in "id" that I can't think of right now) these women look. They're not gaining anything out of the stroking. Often, the hair ends up looking ratty and ravaged. Why not (like a proper lady), find a powder room and run a comb or brush through it quickly. The great Marsha Brady brushed her hair 100 times. That's dedication. Hair stroking on the subway can be viewed as public grooming, and for that, it's officially a Style Therapy no no.