New Mommy Does Not Have to be Synonymous w/ Hot Mess

Just because you're a New Mommy it does not give you license to be hot mess. I understand the baby is crying and needs to be changed, but this doesn't mean to forget about you for the next 18 years. You can't let yourself go and then blame it on the kid. What happened to accountability? Well, the Style Therapist has the answer. You New Mommies are going through a true kind of madness. You've just evicted a human being from your womb, you're hormones are 10x worse than during puberty, and everyone has forgotten about you and is focusing all of their energies towards the new baby. JT sings about "bringing sexy back", don't let your sexy go anywhere else in the first place!

If you New Mommies follow a few, simple rules, you'll soon be on your way to pointing out the other New Mommies who look haggard and disheveled.

1. Before baby arrives, remove sweats from your property. You spend months and months preparing for the arrival of the little one. How about a little time on yourself? College sweatshirts, baggy sweatpants, oversized tees... get rid of them. Fleece? Absolutely not. Fleece is and sweats are entry level garments into a career of sloppy dressing. They're all bad and a surefire way to looking like you really don't care about yourself. If you think it's hiding your baby weight, think again. It makes you look bulky and bumpy and rolly. If you don't have it, you can't wear it. So lose it!

2. Invest in fitted cardigans (operative word being "fitted") of varying lengths for maximum comfort and polish. Quality knits are comfortable and versatile. Because they're not as structured as wovens, they accommodate weight fluctuations. Invest in pieces you'll continue to wear after you've shed the excess pounds.

3. If hair is the last thing on your mind, have your stylist give you a sharp, low-maintenance cut. If you're not in the mood for scissors, whip out a good hair product that can hold your sleek ponytail in place. No scrunchies. No butterfly clips. No! No! No!

4. Buy dark denim with some stretch. They'll adjust to your weight and hide stains from defective sippy cups.

5. Statement jewelry can dress up any outfit and really make your face glow. It also keeps baby occupied and is handy for teething. Make sure the pieces aren't too small. Babies have a tight grip and can choke on a piece. Also, don't spend too much money on these pieces because baby may break them.

6. Invest in a good, structured blazer. You should have one of these anyway...As with the cardigan, it can polish off jeans and a t-shirt beautifully.

7. Unless you're absolutely flawless, skip this section. For the rest of you, find a quick makeup routine that suits you. Chances are you'll have puffy eyes from the baby waking up over the course of the night. Get a GOOD concealer and foundation. To brighten up eyes and cheeks, get a bronzer or highlighter in a stick form for quick application. Always always always wear mascara. If nothing else, please abide by this rule. And don't forget a tinted lipgloss for easy swiping and added color. And here's a stern warning for those of you who like to live on the edge: Under no circumstances is it ever ok to apply making while driving. Not only are you putting yourself at risk, but also your child and other people on the road. DO THIS AT HOME!

8. A weekly manicure would be nice. It would be Heaven! If babysitters are scarce and the other mommies are ignoring you because they heard you talking trash about them to another mommy at play group, don't just let your tallons grow like claws or walk about with chipped nails. Skip the polish and keep the nails filed and cuticles well moisturized.

9. Shoes are incredibly important. The urge is to get those sneaker slides. Well, murder that urge! I'm trying to get Congress to pass a bill to ban those atrocities. In the meantime, seek other alternatives. There are marvelous flats out there of every persuasion. If you insist on sneakers, keep them sleek and avoid the bulk.

10. Donate, I repeat, DONATE your maternity clothes to a women's shelter or the Salvation Army or Housing Works. Someone else needs these clothes now. How is your child applying to college and you're still wearing the expanding pants from when you were pregnant with him?


Some of you are still out there complaining that you don't have time. When you can't set aside 5 minutes for yourself, you don't have 100% of you to give to your child. And some of you say, "Style Therapist, you don't have any kids. You don't know what you're talking about." There are orthopedic surgeons who have never had bunions. There are ambulance chasing lawyers who have never been in a car accident. Just trust me on this one. Your child will respect you for taking care of yourself.

What to Buy on the Cusp of a Recession: Ladies

If you're not feeling the pinch yet, hopefully you'll be spared. For those of us who do have to cut back, it's time to get savvy regarding what we purchase. If you live here in New York, or any other metropolitan city, chances are that wearing the same thing everyday isn't an option. We want to look sophisticated and chic; never dated. So wardrobe replenishment is of the essence. I'm not advocating foregoing your utility bill in order to snag that Lanvin Pollison bag at Barney's for $2565. That would be utter madness. You'd have to see a professional to get over that problem. But there are elements that freshen up even the most fatigued of closets.

As it's now autumn, the time has come to consider pieces that can take you well into the spring. *All of these items were available during the time of publishing:

1. Coat-The line of a coat is imperative. People can see you coming from a mile away; and you don't want to look like a lumpy hot mess. Remember the Style Therapy adage: neatness counts. The less bulk, the better. Find outerwear that can work overtime. You can wear it to work, a lovely dinner afterwards, and (because it's not too precious), running errands on the weekend. Here are two options at different price points: Hopefully you have a nice amount of savings and Skip drinks with friends this Thursday

2. Boots-Even if you're accustomed to taking cabs, being in New York can entail a great deal of walking. Shoes must be comfortable. I don't cosign on the suffering for fashion philosophy. I find that line of thinking to be laced with claptrap and twaddle. There's no sense in limping around in beautiful shoes; especially when they are capable of creating bunions and corns. Here are two options at different price points: and All of the bills are paid up (including student loans) and Skip lunch with your work buddy for a couple of weeks. You don't like her anyway, you just feel like a loser eating alone.

3. Sweater Coat - This is a marvelous item to include in your wardrobe because it is a key piece for wardrobe efficiency. It can be worn as outerwear during early autumn or, when belted, can double as a dress. The sweater coat is also a great piece for layering when the operations people at your job can't make up their minds regarding the thermostat. Here are two options at different price points: You're independently wealthy and You have to borrow a little cash from your work buddy who you don't really like, but you'll pay her back during neck pay cycle

4. Statement Jewelry - Nothing resuscitates a top better than a striking necklace. Remember to keep scale in mind; you don't want to walk around looking like a pin-head. But if you've got a head on the larger size, you don't want the chain to get lost in the midst of your massive dome either. Proportion. Proportion. Proportion. Here are two options at different price points: No one gets any presents this holiday season (or next), you're cutting off the cable indefinitely, you've got a big bonus coming up and you can do without a cellphone and You're canceling your subscription to The Economist and eating ramen for a while

5. Blazer - My favorite thing in the whole world. I plan on being buried, or cremated rather, while wearing one. They're slimming and polish off anything you happen to have one. Watch out for where the bottom of the blazer falls. A cropped jacket can magnify the hippier among us. And for our boy shaped friends, a line that's straight up and down can does nothing for the figure. Here are two options at different price points: Robbing banks isn't so bad if you don't get caught and If you wake up late for a week, you can skip that daily breakfast at Pastis

Place Your Vote!

For the best dressed first lady that is. Each First Lady has maintained a distinct role in her husband's administration; whether the public was aware or not. But ultimately the President's wife is also the First Lady of the World. And we cannot have a hot mess representing our country. Vote for your favorite presidential sartorialist. Lady Bird Johnson (and hopefully Michelle Obama) gets my vote. The Stanton + Williams Style Therapy Polls close at 11:59 PM (EST), but I invite you to leave comments afterwards.

Nancy Reagan

Barbara Bush

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Lady Bird Johnson

Laura Bush

Hillary Clinton

Mary Todd Lincoln

Ellen Axson Wilson

Lucy Webb Hayes

Abigail Adams

*Super Surprise Bonus Video*

7 Deadly Style Therapy Sins: Women's Shoes

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Too often we hold onto shoes we don't even like. Here are some tips on what to get rid of.

1. Sneaker slides: This is pure and utter laziness. This started when people needed to run out and heat the car up, then run back inside. Or maybe let the dog out to do her business. Understandably, no one wants to take the time to tie their sneakers for brief, mundane tasks. However, it evolved into a legitimate style that has some real staying power.

2. Platform flip flops: These are a tragic accident waiting to happen. These shoes are a tragic accident in and of themselves. The appeal of the added height makes sense, but there are other ways of achieving that: lifts, stilettos, or socializing with shorter people.

3. Church(or temple) loafers: These are akin to Dad shoes, except most moms know better than this. Vice principals fancy these because the height gives them authority, yet it's comfortable to walk around in all day since only God knows where the actual Principal is. Leave these to overworked administrators. They get a hall pass on this one.

4. Clear heels: These shoes were made for one kind of woman. Chris Rock knows that. I know that. And you know that. Any woman, who's job doesn't entail a slippery pole, should not be wearing these unless she insists upon being confused with the aforementioned woman.

5. Sneaker pumps: It's one or the other. Can't have them both. I'm not not sure if these are for that jogger who's got to run straight to work with no time to change in between. Or maybe it's for the long distance runner who wants a professional look. Either way, this look ran out of steam a long time ago.

6. Maryjanes: These are more perverse and vulgar than the clear heels. At least the latter are out in the open. There's nothing subtle about those. Now, what grown woman would insist on dressing like an overgrown child? And only a pervert would be attracted to the woman wearing these dreadful things.

7. Platform slides: Another item from my university days that seems to have a non-existent expiration date. That could be the only explanation for how these shoes, which would look far better on Herman Munster, have lasted this long. These shoes refuse to go away.

7 Deadly Style Therapy Sins: Men's Shoes

Men, men, men. The following shoes should never be a part of most men's wardrobes. If you insist on playing the iconoclast, operate these shoes with great caution.

1. Church (or temple) loafers: Your first introduction to these shoes came in Junior High when you had to join the Boys' Chorus for an art credit. The time has come to bid them adieu. You're a sophisticated man now, and your shoes should reflect that.

2. Rugged boots: I was recently watching an old episode of 90210 from the third season. Everyone seems to be wearing similar boots made for tough terrain. But if you're not doing hard labor, walking in ice/snow, or climbing a mountain, these seem slightly specious.

3. Gangsta Lean Shoes: The original man these shoes were made for was quite the peacock in his day. However, his day was well over 30 years ago and he thought he could give Billy Dee Williams a run for his money. Now he walks with a cane, and not for affect like he did back in the day. Now he needs it for his hip replacement.

4. Cowboy boots: In a similar vein to the outdoor boots, these seem inauthentic if you're not herding cattle, riding in a rodeo, boot scootin' boogyin, or blazing your way up the Billboard Country charts.

5. Cha chas: During my senior year at university, I took a ballroom dance class for my PE credit. Our professor was a lovely man from Cuba who commanded the dance floor. He had tiny feet and he wore traditional ballroom dance shoes with a heel. If you're a professional or like to dabble in weekly class, owning these aren't up for discussion. However, if these are your work shoes that you wear to your regular 9:00-5:00, you have some 'splaining to do.

6. Platform boots: For some foolish reason I was under the impression that these were a dying fad. At the turn of this century, they disappeared for a minute; but they've come back full force with a vengeance. Unless you're of the deep, dark sacrificing variety (or you just want to appear that you are), leave these alone. For my friends who are vertically challenged, no one knows you're wearing lifts until you remove them.

7. Dad shoes: These are strictly for those born before 1960 who have at least one child. For this man, these shoes are traditional and agreeable. He's not hurting anyone. If you're young enough to have a father that fits this criteria and these are in your closet, please make an appointment with me (www.swstyletherapy.com).

8. *BONUS* College dude shoes: The guy who wears these also thinks wearing an Abercrombie shirt untucked with wrinkle khakis and a sweater vest is dressing up. Leave these at the frat house...where they belong.