It's Called Nailpolish Remover

Ladies, ladies, ladies. There's nothing worse than some chipped fingernail polish. It can cheapen you faster than fishnet stockings and clear platforms. The other day, on the L train no less, I saw a young woman chipping away at her nails. Not only were the flecks of paint flying in different directions—which could have easily landed in someone's eye and injured them—but she was ruining her nails underneath.

When the Chinese invented nail varnish around 3000 B.C., they had no idea that they were creating a potential weapon. But what's even more dangerous is that a bit of your own nail comes off when you deliberately hack away at your digits.

Short, shaped, and groomed nails are the loveliest accessories a woman can have. One of the least expensive, too. If you're decked out in a beautifully structured Lanvin dress and Pierre Hardy shoes, makeup to the nines, hair perfectly coiffed, and ragged nails, what's the point of getting out of bed at all?

Details ladies, details. If your nails are slightly chipped, the remedy is relatively small and takes little time. Dab a bit of polish remover on the index finger of the hand WITHOUT the chipped nails and gently smooth the offending area until the edges are smooth. Apply the necessary amount of coats to the nail and seal it with a clear polish protector. If you have several chips on different fingers and/or your manicure is over a week old, it's time to start from scratch.

The old adage of being able to tell a lot about a person by the shoes they wear applies to nails as well. Chipped nails may convey laziness or lack of attention to detail. While it may not signal the end of the world, you certainly won't be bringing your A-game. Early last year, the New York Times did an article on the chipped nail as a trend. You don't follow that trend. It's not for you.

Heroine Chic

The other day, I ran into a friend on the train...the same train as that dreadful PAO who applied her concealer in front of the world. We were both on our way to a Decorative Arts class that's a part of our graduate program in Visual Culture. She had on a gorgeous Issey Miyake cocoon coat, which she wore often, that was purchased in her hometown of Montreal. The color is the deepest, most beautiful navy. And the pleats, oh the beautiful pleats! That being said, it was a pretty cold day and I wondered how she was able to stay warm with such a thin layer. Her style is impeccable and she takes big risks with prints and colors. So for her to suffer for fashion wouldn't be unheard of; but, on the other hand, she was highly intelligent and pragmatic about matters, too.

When we got to the unbearably hot classroom, we both removed out coats and placed them on the backs of our chairs. I had to get up to do something, but when I returned to my seat, I noticed that there had been a black, fleece jacket underneath the Issey Miyake the entire time. The best part about it was that it was from Old Navy. My classmate was a Style Therapy Hero (STH) in that she mixed high and low...even if the low was concealed. I'm sure there are instances when the Old Navy jacket reveals itself, and since she's an STH, she's a pro at properly rocking it.

Driving the Point Home

It's no secret that public application of makeup is a big Style Therapy no-no. Of course, the quick swipe of lip gloss or Chapstick is permissible. I thought the woman with the eyelash curler on the subway platform was bad, but today was by far the most egregious account to date. Naturally, I was on the L train. This is the same train where I tried to escape the McDonald's Duo only to be met by the Pizza Fiend. I was peering out of my periphery, trying desperately not to look directly at today's offender, because I knew I'd be grossed out.

This woman had the unmitigated audacity to whip out her concealer and start dabbing the bags underneath her eyes. Once again, I was incredulous. I thought I'd seen it all with the eyelash curler, but the lady today really took it to the next level. Typically, Public Application Offenders (PAO) wipe on some foundation, blush, MAYBE eyeshadow, and finally, lipstick. Never, in my life, have I seen CONCEALER applied. The whole point of it is to look like you don't have bags under your eyes. It's akin to doing your comb-over or stuffing your bra in public. The illusion is gone.

But the concealer wasn't the only thing. You know that trick that some women do with the highlighter in the corner of the eyes? It's supposed to make your eyes look brighter. However, it just looks like you put highlighter there to make your eyes look brighter; like there's random white stuff in the corners. It's something best left to the professionals. But, there she went. She did yet another trick that's supposed to be a secret in public. We know that mascara is not a secret. Neither is lipstick. But concealer and eye highlighter are supposed to be kept under wraps.

Several hours later, I'm still confused as to what kind of person would do that. Isn't there a better way to get attention? Breakdancing or singing doowop on a moving train are far better ways to get attention...more respectable, too.